"Inside Thoughts" from Ellen

Transitions, Losses and Crosses: When Change Becomes Holy Pruning

There are seasons in life when everything feels like it is shifting at once. A child leaves home. A marriage changes or ends. Health declines. A career path closes. Retirement arrives. A loved one dies. Even good transitions can stir grief because every new beginning often carries some kind of ending with it.

Change can be painful but it's not the time to shrink back and isolate. It is often an invitation to Holy Pruning. While pruning is rarely comfortable, it is purposeful. In the spiritual life, pruning can strip away what is no longer life-giving so that something deeper, stronger, and more fruitful can grow.

Many women instinctively hide the tender parts of their lives. We tell ourselves to stay strong, keep going, and not burden anyone. Yet when we continually conceal our pain, we can begin to shrink back. Isolation can quietly open the door to unhealthy habits, discouragement, resentment, numbness, and patterns that keep us stuck.

Instead, what if this difficult season is an opportunity to respond differently?

The Crosses We Carry in Times of Transition

Every transition carries its own cross. Some are visible to others, and some are known only to God. These crosses may include:

  • The grief of becoming an empty nester
  • The confusion and heartbreak of separation or divorce
  • The uncertainty of a career change or job loss
  • The limitations and fears that come with health challenges
  • The ache of loneliness in a single life vocation
  • The identity shifts that often accompany retirement
  • The exhaustion of homeschooling and caregiving
  • The sorrow of losing a loved one

These are not small things. They shape the heart, the mind, the body, and the spirit. Yet suffering is not automatically a sign that something is wrong with you. Suffering is not a mental illness; if you let it, it can be a tool in God's hand for your pruning and transformation. This does not mean pain is easy or that grief should be rushed. It means God can work powerfully even in the bitter places.

Why Isolation Feels Safe but Often Harms Us

When life wounds us, hiding can feel protective. It may seem easier to pull back than to let ourselves be seen in our weakness. But over time, isolation often intensifies what we are trying to manage.

When we isolate, we may:

  • Lose perspective
  • Become more vulnerable to fear and discouragement
  • Fall into cycles of overthinking
  • Turn to unhealthy coping habits
  • Forget that we are not meant to carry everything alone

God did not create us to suffer in silence. Women need connection and community to thrive. We need safe spaces where we can be honest, receive compassion, and remember who we are in Christ.

Holy Pruning Makes Room for New Growth

Pruning is not punishment. It is preparation. It is the loving work of God removing what is dead, distracting, disordered, or depleted so that new fruit can emerge in its proper season.

Holy pruning may look like:

  • Letting go of an old identity that no longer fits
  • Releasing unrealistic expectations of yourself
  • Acknowledging grief instead of suppressing it
  • Setting healthier boundaries
  • Accepting support instead of trying to do everything alone
  • Choosing prayer and trust over panic and control

This kind of pruning can feel bitter before it bears fruit. But when you lean into God’s goodness, even painful change can become a place of deep interior renewal.

A Healthier Way to Respond to Life’s Bitter Seasons

If you are walking through a season of transitions, losses, and crosses, consider trying something different. Rather than shrinking back, choose a more proactive and life-giving response.

1. Stay connected

Reach out to trusted women who can listen without judgment. Healing often begins when we stop pretending and allow ourselves to be accompanied.

2. Share your story

You do not need to share everything with everyone, but you do need safe places where your heart can be seen and heard. Naming your pain is not weakness. It is courage.

3. Receive support and compassion

Support is not a luxury. It is part of wise stewardship. God often ministers to us through the presence, encouragement, and insight of others.

4. Keep a forward focus

Grief deserves attention, but it should not become your permanent address. With God’s help, you can honor your losses while still moving toward hope, healing, and growth.

5. Lean into trusting God’s goodness

Even when you do not understand what He is doing, you can trust His heart. The Lord is near in your suffering, and He wastes nothing when it is surrendered to Him.

You Were Made for More

Sometimes women spend so many years caring for everyone else that they forget they, too, are worthy of care. They become experts at showing up for others while neglecting their own spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.

But this season may be your invitation to invest in yourself in a holy and life-giving way. Not from selfishness, but from stewardship. Not to escape your life, but to become more fully alive within it.

You were made for more than merely surviving hard seasons. You were made to bloom into the beautiful creation God designed you to be. You were made to grow deeper in faith, stronger in identity, and more confident in the unique leadership God is calling forth in your home, family, church, and community.

Consider Joining Our TLC Coaching Group

If you are longing for a place where you can be supported through life’s transitions, losses, and crosses, consider applying to join our TLC coaching group.

Our faith-based group mastermind experience offers prayer, retreat elements, education, compassionate support, and meaningful community. It is a place to come as you are and also be lovingly challenged toward growth. Here, you can be seen, heard, loved, and accepted while learning how to respond to change with courage, intention, and trust in God.

This is not about staying stuck in pain. It is about walking through pain with support and allowing God to transform it into wisdom, strength, and fruitfulness.

Invest in yourself. Let this be the season where you stop hiding the tender places and start healing them in the light of faith and community.

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Always remember that you are his beloved and no one can ever take that away from you.

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Thank you for visiting my blog.  
Always remember that you are his beloved and no one can ever take that away from you.

Meet your coach, Ellen Truschel

Ellen Truschel was born and raised in the Central Valley of California and has recently relocated to Southeast Missouri. She has been blessed to be married to her wonderful husband Jeff for 33 years and has two amazing faith-filled adult sons.

Ellen completed her ICF training through the Professional Christian Coaching Institute and has obtained her Life and Leadership Certification.  She is currently in the Health Coach Training Program with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and is working toward certification with the NBHWC.  As the CEO of Lit 4 Life Coaching LLC, Ellen provides Catholic Life, Leadership, Health and Spiritual Formation Coaching with a focus on assisting  empty nester Catholic moms re-design their lives and purpose as well as helping them navigate through transitions, losses, and crosses. 

Her vast experience with ministry includes youth ministry, marriage preparation, healing ministry, marriage retreats, healing retreats, and personal growth year-long programs. Her special calling is to strengthen Catholic Marriages through her Power Skills Couples Coaching Program, relationship skills workshops and retreats with the primary goal of mentoring Catholic couples to bring these skills to their own home parishes. Her favorite saying is to “Light one candle instead of cursing the darkness”.

Ellen is also a licensed marriage and family therapist (since 2006)  and is  the CEO of Central Valley Counseling Center which was established in 2007. She has worked in the field of mental health for 35 years.

She enjoys painting and ceramics, traveling with her husband, golfing, dancing, playing games, spending time with her family and friends, playing with her dog Winston, singing worship songs around the house (when no one is watching) and dreaming up new ideas on how to draw people closer to God.

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